Happy Swalloween in the Bar None

i’ve decided to start a tradition, if “tradition” means fucking up the same way twice. Which it does. So i’m taking down last year’s dead meat and hanging up some fresh shit for ’tis the season to be drunk.

From the juiced-box: The Pretty Reckless – Zombie

[Press ‘Play’ for a song that will make you cum to life]

To kick things off in the ass, here’s something i can’t believe has not yet caught on.

Bar None Swalloween 01

How has this not become a thing?

Concerning my dressing, this year i’ve decided to come as…much as possible. Here are some other killer costumes.

Bar None Swalloween 02 Expose yourself

Expose Yourself

Bar None Swalloween 03 Jager Bomber

Jager Bomber

Bar None Swalloween 04 Very Deep Throat

Very Deep Throat

Bar None Swalloween 05 Kool Aids

Kool Aids

Bar None Swalloween 06 Wine-Oh!


Bar None Swalloween 07 Trick or Teat

Trick or Teat

Bar None Swalloween 08 Super Drunk Girl

Super Drunk Girl

This is where i keep the surprisingly popular Celebrity Halloween Costumes.

And the children! We can’t forget about the children! What would Halloween be without the little weenies?

Bar None Swalloween 09

Yes, it’s dated, but so have you.

Bar None Swalloween 10 Living Doll

Living Doll

Mad Boy

Mad Boy

Whatever you go as, make sure you go in piece…one piece.

Bar None Swalloween 12 Go Home, Skeleton, you're drunk

Finally, just in case all this fun has made you forget that i’m balls deep in recovery

Bar None Swalloween 13

5 thoughts on “Happy Swalloween in the Bar None

  1. “here’s something i can’t believe has not yet caught on”

    No, seriously, I wore Mork suspenders for years…

  2. That skeleton on the floor is too funny! And “Mad Boy” — lol. He’s adorable! I love how he even has a name tag “Don Draper.” 😀

    I want some Mork suspenders. They are hipster now, along with ironic beards. I do not want an ironic beard, however.


    • Thanks for the props, babe,

      Forget the suspenders, can you sit on Dracula’s lap in Denver? That’s what i want to do. OK, does that mean you want a real beard? lol

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

      • Seriously (<—– being ironic, lol) if you want a good laugh, Google "ironic beard" and look at the images. I tell you, this is FOR REAL in Denver, and there are hipster 20-somethings sporting knit hats and bushy beards just like these pics. It is hard not to stop and stare at them, just like I want to stare at the hip-hopsta boys with the waistbands of jeans at their knees (I saw this, too).

        I'm getting old because they all look like they are teenagers with truly hairy faces, and it makes me want to laugh at them. If I were only 20, I'd probably think it was cool, ha.

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