Say Bye Bynes @AmandaBynes

i figured out Amanda Bynes’ fucking problem

There’s a lot i don’t know, for example i don’t know what your problem is, but add this to the short column of shit i do know: i know Amanda Bynes’ problem and, like the cat that we just ran over, it was in front of us all the time.

Check it:

Amanda Bynes 04 Bar None AlKHall

Amanda Bynes is, like what, 38 years old?—and she doesn’t drink. That, Barmaids and Beerhounds, is enough to drive anyone batshit crazy.

Hunter S. Thompson said it best (and got paid a shit lot more than me, too) when he said

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

Amanda Bynes 00 Mugshot Bar None AlKHall

Amanda tweeted her confession soon after the police fished her out of her apartment for a little catch and release, meaning she was arrested and set free in a little offshoot of “cat and mouse” i call “pussy and mousy”, in which Amanda plays both parts.

“Does she drink?”

“Does she drink?” is the wrong question because the right question is “Does it matter?” and i’m so generous i’ll even tell you the answer and the answer is, “No, it does not fucking matter.” It doesn’t fucking matter because whatever Amanda Good-Bynes is doing or not doing is derailing that train wreck.

Exhibit ‘A’ for ‘A’manda before:

Amanda Bynes Before Wallpaper AlKHall Bar None

Amanda Bynes Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

Exhibit ‘B’ for ‘B’ynes after:

Amanda Bynes 2013-05-28 Wallpaper

One Hot Mess

Pictures puke louder than words…

And while i’m hanging paper here, i found out Google who hates me and wants the Bar None to close down forever by giving all my patronizers the wrong directions on getting here has credited a phishing site with a wallpaper i stole photos for with my own fingers and made my own self on my own computer and posted here first. i’m putting it up again here as a way to piss on it to mark my territory.


Amanda Bynes drunk at the Bar None wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

So here’s the bottom line @Amanda Bynes

Amanda Bynes, you seem like a good kid who’s been tossed into the arena with tons of lions and all they gave you to defend yourself was way more money and time than you could handle. Unfortunately, throwing money at the lions doesn’t seem to be working, and the crazy you’re baking is only making them hungrier and scaring away the fans in the stands you already had.

The secret to killing the lions is not to fight them. It’s to turn your back to them, turn off your computer, go far away to someplace safe and close your eyes until those lions are hungry enough that they attack some other poor sweet starlette who’s easier.

i really do wish you the best,

Al K Hall

PS You’re nose is super cute, i wouldn’t change a thing.

Bar None Dregs

Saint Pauly, who makes me laugh for all the wrong reasons, posted another one of his funny reviews over at WTF!


All About Al K Hall

Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.

Al K Hall’s Drawers

Amanda Bynes 01 Nude Bar None AlKHall

Amanda Bynes 02 Nude Bar None AlKHall

Amanda Bynes 03 Nude Bar None AlKHallAmanda Bynes 03 Nude Bar None AlKHall

Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.

8 thoughts on “Say Bye Bynes @AmandaBynes

    • My darlingest Marionette!

      IKR!? She used to be cute as hell. i’m thinking she took one look at how cute you are and decided to give up even trying so slid genbtly into the dark side. Just one humble nonpracticing alcoholic’s opinion…

      Thanks for patronizing me, babe,

      Al K Hall

    • Pastor!

      Welcome to the Bar None. Sit down, put your feet on the table; make yourself at home and what can i get you drink?

      Still not a decent boob shot after all these years. Makes me wonder if a ‘decent’ boob shot is possible–maybe she knows something we don’t.

      Thanks for patronizing me, Pastor, hope you come back,

      AL K Hall

  1. Tell ya what, go back to your parent’s place and ask to borrow that picture of you as a young lush-to-be, then go to the bathroom mirror and hold it up to your soon-to-be-a-mug-shot. That’s what happened to Amanda and all of us eventually (except George freakin’ Clooney). Just anyone who live in LA seems to do it a lot more dramaticly. What steams my clams is that someone would steal from our bar. We need a big ugly dog that drools and belches as a bar mascot

    • Wayne!

      Good point. i aged about as gracefully as John Goodman with nasty hemorrhoids dancing Swan Lake. Still, look at my avatar…i still have my baby face.

      And thanks for sticking up for the Bar None! i’m quite the watchdog myself, but unfortunately my barf is worse than my bite.

      Thank for patronizing me, brother,

      Al K Hall

  2. Don’t these young girls realise how ugly they look when they get themselves shitfaced and high? And selfies are really so 2011.
    Her problem is that she’s not done anything good since She’s The Man…. which wasn’t that good a film to begin with.

    Fuck young celebrity, it’s wasted on the youth.

  3. i’m with you on the “Fuck Young Celebrities” and from now on make a pledge to do that whenever possible.

    As for her acting, i thought she did alright in “Easy A”, is that before or after “She’s the Man”?

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