Cressida Bonas: The Other Royal Baby

Prince Harry's Royal Baby 01 (Al K Hall Bar None Dregs)

Prince Harry’s Royal Baby

[Press ‘Play’ for Kylie Minogue playing “Drunk” from her album…Impossible Princess.]

Dregs

Cressida Bonas Drunk Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Bar None Dregs)

Cressida Bonas in the Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for the wallpaper

July 16: Royally Fucked Up

The Harry Prince continues his glorious rise to the bottom. His grace has already graced the Bar None with his drunken antics and he assures me that we can continue to count on his patronage. He’s told me this in person, through the choice of his new princess consort: Cressida Bonas.

(Note that “Bonas” is UK-speak for “Boners”. As in, “Prince Harry should marry Cressida and take her name so people would call him, “Harry Bone-ahs”.)

The best part about her apart from everything else is that she’s a party animal just like his High – ness.

Just recently they have been seen

But don’t take my word for it…pictures drink louder than words.

Cressida Bonas LUSH Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Bar None Dregs)

Cressida Bonas LUSH in the Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for the wallpaper

Evidence Cressida is a LUSH (Bar None slang for Lesbian Until Sober Honey).

And here’s Cressida making one of her favorite Drunken English scenes.

Cressida Bonas 01 (AlKHall Bar None Dregs)

The Original Drunken English Girls

Cressida Bonas 02 (AlKHall Bar None Dregs)

Cressida’s Tribute Version

Cressida Bonas 03 (AlKHall Bar None Dregs)

Proof it’s Cressida

She’s a Princess of Darkness on her way to becoming Queen of the Night.

Bar None Dregs

Am i an asshole?

You know me (and if you don’t, you’ll probably answer the ‘asshole’ question wrong), i’m a sensitive mother fucker.

Case in point, i recently came across this video on YouTube and it seriously moved me.

Jillian Jensen, the young lady singing, was bullied for years in her school and this passionate performance grew out of that pain. [For the complete story behind this performance, follow this link.]

Now, the Bar None has always been a No H8R zone, and this video as forced me to declare the premises a Bully Free zone as well. The problem is, i’m trying to decide what constitutes bullying, so i’m asking for your help.

Your answers will help me decide who and what i write about in the dregs coming up.

WTF Banner

Saint Pauly over at WTF!? Watch the Film has been keeping busy with his reviews as funny as old meat smells.

Check out:

human-centipede-2-01-poster-wtf-watch-the-film-saint-paulie

WTF!? (Watch the Film) Human Centipede 2

god-bless-america-01-poster-wtf-watch-the-film-saint-pauly

WTF!? (Watch the Film) God Bless America

darkest-hour-01-poster-wtf-watch-the-film-saint-pauly

WTF!? (Watch the Film) The Darkest Hour

resident-evil-extinction-01-poster-wtf-watch-the-film-saint-pauly

WTF!? (Watch the Film) Resident Evil: Extinction

As for me, go here for a complete list of all my websites on one page so you don’t miss out on any of my shit.

All About Al K Hall

Al K Hall’s Drawers

Photos Cressida Bonas 04 (AlKHall Bar None Dregs)

Cressida Bonas 05 (AlKHall Bar None Dregs)

Prince William picks up Harry's Royal Baby (Al K Hall Bar None Dregs)

Prince William picks up Harry’s Royal Baby

Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.

The Wolverine (2013): A Booze Revooze Quick Shot

The Wolverine 01 poster (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Putting the ‘Man’ in ‘Manicure’

Ramblings: Rusty Nails

First off: Just to prove Wolverine came to Yeaman before States…

Wolverine holegrown still 01 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Wolverine holegrown still 02 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Wolverine holegrown still 03 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Final Proof: 2 Shots

2 shotsYou know how you get drunk alone? You sit there on your ratty ass recliner and pound cheap beer so fast your cans don’t have the chance to get warm and your skin tingles with the excitement of the buzz and you honestly believe you’re having fun even if you’re the only one, and you think you’re thinking of all kinds of great shit that you really should be writing down and even if you catch yourself drowsing off towards the end you’re convinced that the night you’re spending means something significant…until you wake up in a puddle of your own piss with the understanding that you’re in the same chair and the same life with the same job and nothing at all you said or thought or did has any consequence on your life. You got ridden right back where you started and and the ride wasn’t all that great, and that drunken night is just like The Wolverine.

The Wolverine 02 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Life in the Outhouse…here comes another Full Moon.

  • Like a minor-storyline comic, it’ll burst your speech bubble
  • i hate Wolverine’s ironic beard
  • i hate Wolverine’s ironic haircut
The Wolverine 03 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

“Wait, does my hair really look like a furry plate glued to my head?!”

  • PG-13 vengeance isn’t as sweet as you’d think
  • No consequences, so of no consequence

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

The Wolverine 04 sex (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

“Bitch, I am so gonna finger bang you.”

Sex: 0 Shots

  • Wolverine kisses Jean in bed…in a dream. Neither Jean, nor the kiss, nor the dream are wet.
  • Wolverine makes out with Mariko as she holds his obi [not a euphemism]
  • They wake up together, fully clothed
  • Minister of Defense Noburo parties with two prostitutes in their underwear
  • Viper is a mutant who can kill you with a French kiss, or her breath [not a joke]

Drink: 0 shots

The Wolverine 05 drink (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Yukio hasn’t yet understood Pole Dancing

  • Bar fight scene when Wolverine decides to break his ten minute vow of not hurting anyone
  • Logan buys evil hunter a drink before stabbing him in the hand with a poison arrow
  • Drinks a shot while torturing the evil hunter
  • Libido [Yukio] cuts off the bottom of a beer bottle with a samurai sword–drinks are half off
  • Wolverine drinks whiskey on the plane because he’s a pussy afraid of flying
  • Prostitutes make drinks for Japanese Ministry of Defense in their underwear (the drinks are in glasses, not their underwear)

Rock & Roll: 1 Shot

 The Wolverine 06 rock (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

BMX: Be More Exciting

1 shot and it’s all for this song… Sideburn – Six Feet Under

  • Normal fight scene
  • Cool fight scene on top of bullet train
  • Normal finale fight scene
The Wolverine 07 rock (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

“I’m the Man of Steal!”

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie – screenplay

Directed by: James Mangold

The Wolverine 09 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Doesn’t bathe. Looks better.

Starring

Rila Fukushima – Yukio
Svetlana Khodchenkova – Viper
Famke Janssen – Jean Grey
Tao Okamoto – Mariko Yashida
Hugh Jackman – Logan / Wolverine

The Wolverine 08 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

No. Not Irish.

Essence

The Wolverine is giving us the finger.

Another Round

The Wolverine 10 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

“I make my skin crawl.”

The Wolverine 11 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Hard & Veiny: The Wolver-peen

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Iron Man 3 Booze Revooze

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G.I. Joe Retaliation Booze Revooze

00 les-misc3a9rables-poster-bar-none-booze-revooze

Les Misérables Booze Revooze

Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round

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Dregs of the Day: Cory Monteith Commits Suicide

Cory Monteith Reruns In Peace (AlKHall Bar None Diarya)

Cory Monteith: Reruns In Peace

Yeah, i said it. Like everyone else hasn’t been saying it already.

As of this writing (2013-07-14 13:11 Yemen time), the news of Cory Monteith’s death in a Vancouver hotel room has hit the net. The official cause is still unknown, but authorities say that no foul play is suspected.

People, if you die alone in a hotel room and no foul play is suspected, it’s either an INXSTC neck tie or you killed yourself with substances, intentionally or not.

i’m not here to mock him. If you don’t know who Cory Monteith was, which is entirely possible when you think about the typical patrons of The Bar None, then, well…what i can tell you is that he was the star of a TV show called Glee and if you don’t know what that it is well, what can i tell you? Other than he was a teen idol and that it doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that he had addiction issues which seemed to begin with alcohol (he first went to rehab at 19) and then evolved into drug use.

What also matters is that you will die the same way he did if you do the same shit he does. So he was like you and especially like me and not because i’m a drop dead sexy mother fucker. OK, not just because i’m a drop dead sexy mother fucker.

i am an alcoholic in recovery after a 30-year drinking career. i got sober after getting out of the hospital where i spent 10 days (three in ICU where family and friends were called to my bedside in case i didn’t make it) when i tried to kill myself.

i was lucky. Cory Monteith wasn’t. That’s what it comes down to.

What it really comes down to is you. This post is all about you.You have not committed suicide, on purpose or otherwise. Don’t start now.

Ask for help when you need it.

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