You’ve heard of the Darwin Award, which lists the most ridiculous deaths of people so stupid that their deaths help out the human race by taking their genes out of the pool. What I’ve assembled here are not so much a list of stupid dead people but stupid drunk people, and that’s why I’ve changed the name to the Bar-Win Awards. Why ‘win’? Because you get to vote for 2013’s winner.
Who among us has never been hard up with a hard on? i bet i’m not the only one who has hid his sausage in some moldy ass buns, who’s buried his bishop in the unholiest of holes, who’s laid some pipe deep in some dirt. But bad as i ‘ve been, i’ ve never tried to fill a bottle with my special sauce. Not like the second Bar-Win nominee in Ohio who was so desperate he decided Busch was close enough to Bush for him so he tried to have intercourse with a beer bottle. Why should you vote for him? He got a little more than he bargained for because instead of a piece of ass he got a piece of glass and cut his cock completely off while fucking the broken bottle.
Why should you vote for him? Because he truly can no longer pass his dirty genes on to further generations.
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Can-idate: Our first girl…and she’s hot!