You’ve heard of the Darwin Award, which lists the most ridiculous deaths of people so stupid that their passing helps out the human race by taking their genes out of the pool. What I’ve assembled here are not so much a list of stupid dead people but stupid drunk people, and that’s why I’ve changed the name to the Bar-Win Awards. Why ‘win’? Because you get to vote for 2013’s winner.
Don’t you hate it when you’re sitting around the house, watching TV with the wife and masked kidnappers bust into your living room with guns and drag you out into their car? OK, maybe you don’t hate it so much because the ‘kidnappers’ are your friends and they’re only doing what you asked them to do so you could get in a night of partying without your insignificant other.
i’ll tell you who doesn’t think it’s a good idea and that’s your wife who called the police and they weren’t too impressed with your idea either as your wife spent the night worrying while the cops looked for you all over the city. Then don’t you hate it when you show up the next day with your scripted story about how the kidnappers just let you go but you know who didn’t let it go? That’s right, the police because they questioned you about the crime until you confessed to pulling a slow one over on everyone.
Why should you vote for him? Because you know you’ve thought about doing this yourself.
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Can-idate: Three words “naked, man & cactus”.