From the juiced-box and the film: Elvis Presley – Devil in Disguise
[Press ‘Play’ for what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas]
Final Proof: 3½ Shots
You know how you get drunk with an old friend? He’s cool and brings something for you to drink and lets you pick the tunes and he’s been with you a long time so he’s as familiar as your favorite booth in the corner bar. Hanging out with him is nice because you know him so well you get comfortable right away and settle into your routine and even if he’s taken steroids and some speed with his drink, he’s still the same old guy you’ve always been able to count on. Godzilla is that old friend.
There’s a lot to like about this Godzilla dude. Sometimes there’s movies i really look forward to seeing, only when i get there i usually wind up all disappointed because these super heroes and monsters and robots don’t live up to their own hype. In the end they always have some fatal flaw that ruins it for me and i usually end up wishing they’d made the movie i wanted to see and not the one they showed me. The good news here is that Godzilla delivered what i wanted and, while he didn’t impress the shit out of me, at least he didn’t let me down.
It’s a solid movie with a good story and pretty fast paced, which means there’s more than just one action scene at the beginning and at the end. The actors do their acting thing even if none of the roles really are that much of a stretch for anyone. Bryan Cranston can act without even trying and here he doesn’t have to. Sally Hawkins is as cute as an English button but all she has to do is walk around and act surprised.
The big shock in the cast? Elizabeth Olsen (the non-twin) delivered the strongest performance of the film other than the monster. Sure, she cheated a little because “Elle Brody” is the only one in the movie that has any emotional range, but at least she didn’t drop the balls when exploring her character’s depth.
As for the special effects, they were often pretty good. However, the reason i stopped at 3½ shots here was because the action was sometimes a little muddied and the monsters’ fight scenes were often filmed in dark, smoky conditions and i suspect this was to “hide the wires” rather than for moody realism. Still, overall, the action was decent and regular, and the not so special effects didn’t hurt the film all that much.
Basically, if you think you’re going to like Godzilla, you’ll love it, and if you think it’s going to suck, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised.
Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)
Sex: ½ Shot
Elizabeth Olsen is the younger, taller, hotter sister of Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen (the mini bookends that were the darlings of American TV and kids’ movies). They didn’t age as gracefully as their untwin and they can’t act as well, either. Basically, Elisabeth got the looks and the talent, which is normal when you think about it because the twins had to share everything they got in two.
Let me just say again, though, that the 1 shot here has nothing to do with her talent. Elizabeth really came through multiple times in Godzilla and proved she’s more than just a pretty face i hope to see a lot more of.
Unfortunately, whoever directed this film (Gareth Edwards) decided to concentrate more on the monster special effects than sex and more on his PG-13 rating than nudity. In your nutshell, this means this wallpaper is hotter than anything you’ll see of her in the film.
There’s some more single shots of her hanging out deep in my drawers, so just scroll down until you hit pay dirty.
Also hot in this movie is Sally Hawkins who i’ve been crushing on forever, like since i saw her in this one English movie called Happy-Go-Lucky because she’s a good actress and cute and has a constellation of moles i’d like to spend all night drawing out and naming one time.
i put some shots of her down in my drawers, too. Including one cool one of her moles.
Drink: 0 Shots
The only time we even see booze is when Ford Brody (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) has some wine with his wife (Elle Brody / Elizabeth Olsen) when he comes back from a tour of duty in the Navy.
Rock & Roll: 4 Shots
The real reason i went 4 shots on the action was that there was a lot of it and it lasted throughout the whole movie. Much of what they put up on the screen, though, was a little confused and dark so i felt a little cheated like maybe whoever fucked up Pacific Rim could have come here and done just the action scenes because those were the best part of PR.
Remember, there are spoilers here!
- It takes 45 minutes to see a monster, but there is action before that
- There are a couple of surprising deaths, which is a real plus for this film. It also serves to keep us focused on the monsters
- There are 3 monsters here: A boy Muto (giant spider cricket), a girl Muto and Godzilla
- Godzilla kicks ass like a boss, and is the true hero of the film
Boring Technical Crap
Max Borenstein (screenplay)
Dave Callaham (story)
Directed by: Gareth Edwards
Elizabeth Olsen – Elle Brody
Sally Hawkins – Vivienne Graham
Bryan Cranston – Joe Brody
Aaron Taylor-Johnson – Ford Brody
Al K Hall’s Drawers
What happens in my drawers stays in my drawers, and is often NSFW!