0-5 Shots: X-Men: Days of Future Past

X-Men Days Future Past (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

From the juiced-box and the soundtrack: Roberta Flack – The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

[Press ‘Play’ for a taste of 1973]

Ramblings: The X Factor

Final Proof: 4 Shots

4 shots

You know how you get drunk at an office party on a Thursday night? All of the gang is there, it’s the same people you don’t get drunk with all day at work and they’re here again but they look a little unusual and act a little cooler and the office is still the normal office but it looks kind of weird because it’s late at night and the lighting’s different than during the day. You have a good time and you let your hair down, and you unbutton an extra button on your shirt while you flirt with danger and the office hottie, but at the same time you never forget where you are so you don’t let yourself go crazy and you’re home by 2am and ready for work the next day. X-Men: Days of Future Past was as fun and as safe as that office party.

X-Men Days Future Past 02 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

i originally wasn’t planning on going with 4 shots for this film but X-Men: Days of Future Past was ½ shot better than Godzilla and i gave that 3½ shots so there you go, a 4-shot movie.

Why hesitate to go the full 4? X-M:DoFP accomplished what it set out to do very well, but it didn’t set out to do all that much. It’s a solid movie with a story that’s easy enough to follow, even for me, and this despite jumping around in time all over the place. The acting was nice and not just Jennifer Lawrence who can do no wrong here in the Bar None, but even people i’m not big fans of weren’t too annoying. (i have nothing against Hugh Jackman because you can make “Hugh Jass” or “Hugh Jackass” jokes about his name, but i hate Wolverine with a passion partly because his last movie sucked Hugh Jass and mostly because his hair cut is what they should give pedophiles so they stand out from the crowd and make it easier for us to spot and hate on.)

X-Men Days Future Past 03 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Kaley Cuoco's boobs at 18

Floppy hippie peace sign hat’s off to Bryan Singer who directed all this because most of the movie takes place in 1973 and i know from personal experience (mescal flashbacks) that this is what 1973 exactly looked like. Even the Pepsi product placement signs were vintage. The movie–like Kaley Cuoco’s boobs at 18–had an authentic look and feel.

Also, the special effects were very good. i saw this bad boy in (passive) 3D and there was enough eye candy to keep me interested and i’m not talking about trying to see if Mystique wears panties when she’s blue. It looked good and it moved at a good pace with only one really noticeable slow spot which they got out of the way at the beginning and was when they had to tell us the story of all the X-Men movies.

X-Men Days Future Past 04 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Why hesitate then? Because the film was missing the spark that set movies like The Avengers above the flood of super hero cinema. There was nothing special and when i see a film, i want special. i want to get excited about a movie, to get goosebumps, to guy cry a little. i want to feel kind of drunk when i watch a movie, especially because i’m an alcoholic who stopped drinking and can’t get drunk the normal way any more.

X-Men Days Future Past 05 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Finally, and being careful not to give away any spoilers, i felt a sense of “So what?” when the movie ended. Like it was a good movie but didn’t contribute anything to the X-Men anthology. Sure, it was better than all 3 of the first X-Men combined (i’m a Hugh Jater of those movies), but not as important as First Class.

At the end, you’ll give it a warm round of applause, but you won’t jump to your feet and yell “encore”.

X-Men Days Future Past 05 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 3 shots

X-Men Days Future Past 07 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

3 shots

Many, many beautiful women here (OK, three beautiful women, but in my life, that constitutes “many”). Then there’s knowing that Jennifer Lawrence is walking around naked except for a little polyurethane net and some body paint and you have all the fixings for a hot ticket. Apart from that, no sex or nudity, though there is a reference made that Mystique / Raven and Erik / Magneto had something X rated going on for a while.

Here’s what the majestic Jennifer Lawrence looks like when she’s not blue.

Jennifer Lawrence Young 2014-02-19 Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Young Jennifer Lawrence Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper

There’ll be more shots of her in my drawers, down below. Just keep scrolling down until you hit the warning.

Also thrown in the mix is Ellen Page, my newest favorite lesbian. Here in the Bar None we welcome lesbians with open arms and not just because they’re hot. We have a strict no-hating policy here, including sexual preference, race, religion, politics and drink choice. Because none of those things stands in the way of hotness. Witness:

Ellen Page Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Ellen Page in the Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper

There’s more single body shots of her down below as well.

Rounding things up, there was this super hot Chinese woman named Fan Bingbing who covered up all her goods because she played a mutant called Blink, like “Blink and you’ll miss her”. Fortunately, i’ve got this capture of her here for y’all.

Fan Bingbing Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Bar None)

Fan Bingbing Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper

i threw some shots of her in my drawers as well. Dig down deep and enjoy.

On one final note, for those of you who prefer Y-chromosomes to X-women, Hugh Jackson shows his naked ass in this movie. i’m not gay, but i’d like to have that ass…as mine.

A Smoke

Drink: ½ Shot

1-2 shot

Not a lot of booze here and what they had wasn’t key to the plot, so if they’re not going to make the effort, neither am i.

X-Men Days Future Past 08 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

 

  • Young Charles Xavier drinks vodka from a scotch glass
  • Russian and Vietnamese soldiers drink in a Paris disco
  • Vietnamese officer orders a bottle of Johnny Walker at the bar
  • Charles drinks whiskey on a private jet to Paris

Slurred Speeches

I haven’t had a real sip in 10 years.

Erik drinking whiskey on the plane to Paris after his escape from prison

X-Men Days Future Past 09 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 4 shots

4 shots

Very good special effects, (you won’t believe what happens to the baseball park) and regular action scenes with a minimum of backtalk left me satisfied in this domain. While there was no real rock and roll to the movie, they did have “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” twice and the escape scene with Jim Croce’s “Time in a Bottle” was killer. So yeah, imma go 4 shots on this.

X-Men Days Future Past 10 (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Boring Technical Crap

Written by:

Jane Goldman, Simon Kinberg, Matthew Vaughn – story
Simon Kinberg – screenplay

Directed by: Bryan Singer

Starring

Jennifer Lawrence – Raven / Mystique
Ellen Page – Kitty Pryde
Fan Bingbing – BlinkHugh Jackman – Logan / Wolverine
James McAvoy – Charles Xavier
Michael Fassbender – Erik Lehnsherr
Peter Dinklage – Dr. Bolivar Trask
Evan Peters – Peter / Quicksilver

Bottom Line

A movie you don’t need to be a fanboy to like

Another Round

WTF!? hilarious review of a much worse film

Fernby Films’ awesome review of Part 1

Booze Revooze of “Capatain America: Winter Soldier”

Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round.

Al K Hall’s Drawers

What happens in my drawers stays in my drawers, and is also pretty NSFW.

Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence 01 bikini (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze) Jennifer Lawrence 02 nipple (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze) Jennifer Lawrence 03 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze) Jennifer Lawrence 04 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze) Jennifer Lawrence 05 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze) Jennifer Lawrence 06 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze) Jennifer Lawrence 07 (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Jennifer Lawrence 08 interview request (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

My exclusive interview with Jennifer Lawrence in the Bar None

Jennifer Lawrence 09 in the Bar None (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Jennifer Lawrence in the Bar None

Ellen Page

Ellen Page 01 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Ellen Page 02 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Ellen Page 03 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Ellen Page 04 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Ellen Page 05 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Ellen Page 06 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Ellen Page 07 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Ellen Page 08 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Ellen Page 09 in the Bar None (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Fan Bingbing

Fan Bingbing 01 see through (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Fan Bingbing 02 downblouse (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Fan Bingbing 03 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Fan Bingbing 04 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Fan Bingbing 05 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Fan Bingbing 06 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Fan Bingbing 07 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Fan Bingbing 08 (AlKHall Booze Revooze) Fan Bingbing 09 in the Bar None (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round.

2 thoughts on “0-5 Shots: X-Men: Days of Future Past

  1. Oh, I cannot wait for the porn version: Triple-X-Men: Days of Future Vaginas.

    Or something.

    This movie is always gonna rock, it was just a question of by how much. Glad to hear it’s not totally X3-esque.

  2. Pingback: » Movie Review – X-Men: Days Of Future Past Fernby Films

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