i don’t know if you know or not because she’s not really a Bar None type of gal, but there’s this girl singer called Selena Gomez. You might remember her from when she made an appearance her in Spring Breakers where she played a good girl going bad. If you missed that one, though, no big deal because all you have to do is look at her life. She’s pulling that same shit there.
Which is to say she’s in rehab. Officially she’s in rehab for “depression” but you and i aren’t as stupid as you look and we know rehab for depression isn’t a real thing.
What’s saddest is not this excuse we’re hearing or the fact her peeps are blaming it in her lupus or the downers she’s downing our the booze she’s swigging… No, what’s saddest is that she’s in withdrawal, and even sadder still is what she’s in withdrawal from: Justin Bieber. Swear to god, she got addicted to his scrawny ass that’s moved way on down the road and there she is still stuck in the same rut she was in when they were together. When you can’t move on, you need to do something to kill time and for most folk that means killing yourself with drink and drugs.
Of course Selena’s addicted to depression because she’s addicted to the alcohol that took her down and is continuing to hold her there at rock bottom. Here’s a dry toast to hoping rehab helps her to pick herself up and move on…