Go Home, America — You’re Drunk!

 

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(Cartoon by David Rowe)

O, America! i know just how you feel. You went out on a bender on a weeknight — a Tuesday, no less! — and now you’re paying the price. It was fun while it lasted, though, wasn’t it! You got a little (lot!) crazy, let your hair down, got flirty with some very unsavory characters, and put your morals on hold for the evening. Good for you! Everyone deserves to let loose every once in a while.

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Especially after how good you’ve been lately. Eight years of working hard and getting shit done. Staying as classy as you were for so long is no easy task and so it’s only natural for you to blow off some steam. Stir up some trouble. Raise a little (a lot of!) Hell.

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Unfortunately, now comes the time when you have to wake the fuck up. You have to take stock of what you did and figure out what you lost. Keys? Phone? Respect? You have to do that walk of shame out into the world and face the demons you fucked and the friends you fucked over. You have to go to work and it won’t be easy with the way you feel and i feel sorry as fuck for you when i think about the hangover you’re going to suffer for the next four years.

To help pass the time, here’s some shots of those trump cards. (NSFW from here on out)

Ivanka Trump

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Ivanka Trump in the Bar None

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Melania Trump

A first lady we can get behind

A first lady we can get behind

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Melania Trump wallpaper – click on the shot for a wallpaper

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