2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-drunk-collage

Hell Just Thawed

You know how i stopped writing this blog when Hell froze over because that was the only way i’d ever leave the Bar None? Well, Hell must’ve just thawed because there is only one convergence of events that would’ve ever got me back here and against all the odds and ends, the stars miraculously aligned.

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-and-amber-heard

You see that glass in front of them?

And when i say “stars”, i of course mean Cara Delevingne (or Cara Delavagina as she’s known around here and other parts) and Amber Heard who aligned and are still aligning like wild cats, i bet. And that image is hot enough to melt even a Hell that froze over. Which brings us back to why i’m here right now.

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Dregs of the Week: Cara Delevingne & Michelle Rodriguez: Full Court Press

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 01 (AlKHall Bar None)

Too young? Half your age plus 7 inches, baby!

Here’s my New Year’s resolution, for more shit like this to happen. For hot bi girls to get mega drunk and make out with top models in public. My New Year’s resolution is more Michelle Rodriguez.

Michelle Rodriguez, the King of Queens and still the first woman i’ll call if i turn gay, had a date with a 21 year old blonde top model who looks like this:

Cara Delevingne None (AlKHall Bar None)

And acts like this:

Cara Delevingne 00a None (AlKHall Bar None)

Cara Delevingne 00b None (AlKHall Bar None)

Michelle took Cara Dlelevingne (pronounced: de-la-vagina) to a basketball game and it was hard to tell, oh so very hard, who had the most balls because Michelle kept trying to convert the young woman to either Lesbianism or Alcoholism or both and you know me (and if you don’t there oughta be a law) i already invented a word for that too and it’s LUSH, which stands for Lesbian Until Sober Honey.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 02 (AlKHall Bar None)

“Psst, if I were a woman, would you be a lesbian?”

What’s the take away? These photos are the fucking take-away and they’re so great it’s like Santa came again and if he didn’t, i will.

You know you’re Michelle Rodriguez drunk when…

1. …this is ‘smiling’.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 03 (AlKHall Bar None)

2. …you can only keep one eye open at a time

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 04 (AlKHall Bar None)

3. …you give a urine sample in public

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 05 (AlKHall Bar None)

4. …everything reminds you of vaginas.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 06 (AlKHall Bar None)

5. …you finish first. Without her. At a basketball game.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 07 (AlKHall Bar None)

6. …your ‘come face’ turns into a ‘go face’.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 08 (AlKHall Bar None)

7. …you get this kind of lucky.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 09 (AlKHall Bar None)

As i already got more than enough Michelle Rodriguez pics to choke a drunken whore, i thought i’d concentrate on Cara Delevingne from here on out.

Cara Delevingne Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Bar None)

Cara Delevingne Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper

Al K Hall’s Drawers

What follows is NSFW, babes.

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