You know how i stopped writing this blog when Hell froze over because that was the only way i’d ever leave the Bar None? Well, Hell must’ve just thawed because there is only one convergence of events that would’ve ever got me back here and against all the odds and ends, the stars miraculously aligned.
You see that glass in front of them?
And when i say “stars”, i of course mean Cara Delevingne (or Cara Delavagina as she’s known around here and other parts) and Amber Heard who aligned and are still aligning like wild cats, i bet. And that image is hot enough to melt even a Hell that froze over. Which brings us back to why i’m here right now.
Cara Delevingne Kissing Girls Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper
From the juiced-box and dedicated to Reese Witherspoon, Zooey Deschanel, Kate Upton and Cara Delevignge…
Aerosmith – Love in an Elevator
[Press ‘Play’ for “Drunk in an elevator / Throwing it up after tossing it down…“]
Have you ever played that game, “If you could invite any 5 living people to a dinner party, who would it be?” Well, imagine you play that game, and then those 5 people ended up having dinner together. Freaky, right?
You know me (and if you don’t, you ought to know better), i’m not as intelligent as you, so i don’t play that game. When it’s not with myself, i play “What four people would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?” After years of perfecting my selection, i came up with the definitive list of four people i want to be stuck in an elevator with and it’s this:
Cara Delevingne (because she’s on every list i’ve ever invented ever)
Reese Witherspoon (i bumped off Jesus to include her)
All drunk, of course.
Even more surprising than the perfection of this list is the fact that it all came true, even the drunk part. Here’s the video proof of that.
That vid is also all the proof i need to know that Reese Witherspoon doesn’t read my blog. i already said once in a post where i talked about Cara Delevingne being a LUSH (Lesbian Until Sober Honey), that the correct pronunciation of her name is “Car-ah De La Vagina“. Well, Reese was unaware so when she met Cara, hilarity ensued when she tried to pronounce Cara’s name. Also because she was drunk.
Speaking of her name, here’s a sound bite of Cara pronouncing the alternate, non “de la vagina” version of her name:
i have also come to the official conclusion that Cara Delevingne is not a L.U.S.H., but a young girl playing with the notion of bisexuality and everything else she can get her hands on. i do have photographic proof of that as well, of course.
Cara Delevingne goes both ways
Anyway, there’s tons of NSFW shots of this hot mess at the very bottom of these dregs.
Have you thanked your booze today?
Bar None Dregs
Go here for a complete list of all my websites on one page so you don’t miss out on any of my shit.
From simple fan to simpleton blogger, my pupee, my mental, my proto-gay Saint Pauly’s website is building an audience in its own right. Let’s face it, he’s funnier than i am and i’m not just saying that because his WTF!? website is taking off and i have to stay on his good side.
Check out this review of another hot bisexual, if you don’t believe me.
WTF!? Review of Amber Heard in “All the Boys Love Mandy Lane”
Al K Hall’s Drawers
What follows is NSFW. You’ve been warned, and you shouldn’t be reading the above shit at work anyway.
Cara Delevingne in the Bar None with Rihanna
Cara Delevingne in the Bar None (AlKHall Bar None)
Kate Upton AssAssin Panties
Zooey Deschanel in the Bar None
Reese Witherspoon in the Bar None
Reese Witherspoon in the Bar None (AlKHall Bar None)
Here’s my New Year’s resolution, for more shit like this to happen. For hot bi girls to get mega drunk and make out with top models in public. My New Year’s resolution is more Michelle Rodriguez.
Michelle Rodriguez, the King of Queens and still the first woman i’ll call if i turn gay, had a date with a 21 year old blonde top model who looks like this:
And acts like this:
Michelle took Cara Dlelevingne (pronounced: de-la-vagina) to a basketball game and it was hard to tell, oh so very hard, who had the most balls because Michelle kept trying to convert the young woman to either Lesbianism or Alcoholism or both and you know me (and if you don’t there oughta be a law) i already invented a word for that too and it’s LUSH, which stands for Lesbian Until Sober Honey.
“Psst, if I were a woman, would you be a lesbian?”
What’s the take away? These photos are the fucking take-away and they’re so great it’s like Santa came again and if he didn’t, i will.
You know you’re Michelle Rodriguez drunk when…
1. …this is ‘smiling’.
2. …you can only keep one eye open at a time
3. …you give a urine sample in public
4. …everything reminds you of vaginas.
5. …you finish first. Without her. At a basketball game.
6. …your ‘come face’ turns into a ‘go face’.
7. …you get this kind of lucky.
As i already got more than enough Michelle Rodriguez pics to choke a drunken whore, i thought i’d concentrate on Cara Delevingne from here on out.
Cara Delevingne Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper