Hell Just Thawed

You know how i stopped writing this blog when Hell froze over because that was the only way i’d ever leave the Bar None? Well, Hell must’ve just thawed because there is only one convergence of events that would’ve ever got me back here and against all the odds and ends, the stars miraculously aligned.

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-and-amber-heard

You see that glass in front of them?

And when i say “stars”, i of course mean Cara Delevingne (or Cara Delavagina as she’s known around here and other parts) and Amber Heard who aligned and are still aligning like wild cats, i bet. And that image is hot enough to melt even a Hell that froze over. Which brings us back to why i’m here right now.

Not only did the two hottest women on the planet get together, they are doing it in a bar and of course they are! Where else would they get the right motivation to take the party horizontal? It was exactly how things started between Cara and Michelle Rodriguez and don’t tell me you don’t remember that gorgeous debacle.

An unforgettable kiss she won't remember

An unforgettable kiss she won’t remember

Camber (yep, i created that and you heard it here first) hung out together on Monday, September 19th, first at a bar named after what models say to each other to start a conversation (SoHo) and then to a different bar called LouLou. By the way, both of these clubs are too exclusive to even think about accepting folk like you and me, trust me, i’ve tried.

Turns out Amber and Cara are getting over their exes by getting on each other. Amber is still trying to salvage her reputation after getting busted for lying about Johnny Depp and Cara just broke up with a girl called Saint Vincent of all things.

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-lesbian

The other women

My only concern is, when these two break up, where will they go to console themselves? They’re each already tapping the epitome of female beauty, so they have nowhere to go but down. Which is where they’re going anyway, so at least they know the way.

But you know Johnny Depp is kicking the shit out of himself because if he could’ve held on for a few more weeks, he had a shot at the threesome of the century.

Cara Delevingne

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-drunk-collage

Cara in the Bar None

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-01

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-02

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-02

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-04

2016-09-25-cara-delevingne-052016-09-25-cara-delevingne-05

Amber Heard

2016-09-25-amber-heard-01

Amber Heard in the Bar None

2016-09-25-amber-heard-02

2016-09-25-amber-heard-03

2016-09-25-amber-heard-04

2016-09-25-amber-heard-05

2016-09-25-amber-heard-06

Amber Heard still in the Bar None