The Sexiest Man Alive…

My latest masterpiece got hung up over at The Bar None and only 6 of y’all even bothered to go there so i still got that wedged up in my craw further than a g-string up Kirstie Alley’s back alley when she bends over to pick up a dropped raisinette on the sidewalk.

i’m posting this to congratulate Bradley Cooper on winning People‘s Sexiest Man Alive 2011 and to let you know that, in honor of this great humanitarian feat, Saint Pauly posted a review of The Hangover over at WTF!? (Watch the Film).

For those of you who really and truly did come here for the sexy…

Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

Robert Downey Jr Wants You…

to forgive Mel Gibson.

From the juiced-box and Mel Gibson’s heart: Evanescence – Forgive Me

[Press ‘Play’ to hear Amy Lee make the same demands as Mel Gibson, only better]

You know me (and if you don’t there’s a cure for that), i’m all about the RDJr. A talented actor who hit the kind of bottoms that kill most people, he went into recovery and came back shining like a beacon to souls lost at sea, without losing any of the edge that makes him one of the best actors of his generation. A person who can serve as an example in both their personal and professional lives is like a Gucci life saver: priceless and feels good to have around you.

This Guy's Ready For Anything

The short version of this is that if Downey asked me to chew off my own balls with Amy Winehouse’s rotting teeth, i’d ask if he wanted me to start with the right or the left love bulb.

Which makes it very tough and more than a little hypocritical of me to say i won’t forgive Mel Gibson.

Especially hypocritical because in my Al K Hall Anonymous blog i’m all about the compassion: self compassion, compassion for others, a round of compassion on me for everyone all the way around.

Why am i holding out on some compassion for Mel, you so rightly ask?

Is it because he’s displayed anti-Semitic behavior more than once, and my children are Jewish? Is it because he’s beaten his wife, driven drunk, and demonstrated prejudice towards black people? What about threatening to burn down his children’s home while they slept inside it?

No. i, myself, know too well the gut shot burn of shame inflicted by going off half cocked. i have executed far too many wrongs to say someone else isn’t right, committed too many sins to be holier than thou, behaved far too criminally against others to judge anyone.

No. The thing i can’t look past is his future.

i don’t see him taking any steps to ensure these errors don’t happen again. i  hit some ugly bottoms myself and i continue to make mistakes in my sobriety, but i’m in recovery and actively working a 12-step program daily. Mel Gibson goes to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings drunk.

What i need to see from Mel Gibson is less contrition and more contribution. More action and less acting.

i’ll honor Robert Downey Jr’s request and forgive Mel Gibson when Mel Gibson starts acting more like Robert Downey Jr.

Until then, i forgive Robert Downey Jr for asking me to forgive Mel Gibson.

Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

Finally, an Al K Hall original from the Bar None‘s Drunk and Demotivated page…