Drunk 'High' School Girls Bar None Wallpaper - Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper (Bar None Audio Dregs AlKHall)

Audio Dregs #3 Binge Drinking: Dead Drunk, Pool of Jäger, and “Big Eyes”

Drunk 'High' School Girls Bar None Wallpaper - Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper (Bar None Audio Dregs AlKHall)

Drunk ‘High’ School Girls Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

Today’s special is Binge Drinking, including all you can drink suckaay, a Brazilian kid with all he couldn’t drink, and a pool of Jägermeister and when i say pool i mean swimming pool. Drowning in the dregs today we got a guy who runs into a cop, literally, another who sleeps through his breathalyzer, Shia LaBoeuf – in the celebrity dregs – graduates from booze school, Scott Disick turns out to be a nice guy, and laying down in my drawers we got a wallpaper of drunk high school girls, Lana Del Rey and Krysten Ritter from the Booze Revooze of Big Eyes.

Audio Dregs Pirate Pod Cask #03

You can either click ‘Play’ to listen to it online…

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Audio Dregs #03

…or right click the above link and ‘save link as’ download the mp3 file for your player

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Yolandi Visser 2015-03-18 Bar None Wallpaper - Click on the shot for a wallpaper

Audio Dregs #02 Slipknot, Rehab addiction, Chappie and Die Antwoord’s Yo-Landi Vi$$er

Yolandi Visser 2015-03-18 Bar None Wallpaper - Click on the shot for a wallpaper

Yolandi Visser Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper

Audio Dregs Pirate Pod Cask #02

adult content warning

You can either click ‘Play’ to listen to it online…

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Audio Dregs #02

…or right click the above link and ‘save link as’ to download the mp3 file for your player

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Lorde Bar None Wallpaper - Click on the shot for a wallpaper

Audio Dregs Pirate Pod Cask #01

Hot Twins Bar None wallpaper - Click on the shot for a wallpaper 2015-03-11

Hot Twins Bar None wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper

The rumors were true. Your eyes were fed up of me and now your ears can be, too.

Barmaids and Beerhounds… i give you the

Audio Dregs Pirate Pod Cask #01

You can either click ‘Play’ to listen to it online…

Audio Dregs Pirate Pod Cask #01

…or right click the above link and ‘save link as’ download the mp3 file for your player

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7 reasons 02 (AlKHall Bar None)

7 *Real* Reasons You Will Never Succeed

7 reasons 01 (AlKHall Bar None)

You know me, i’m not gonna lie to you or if i do, i’ll tell you first or just right after. Unfortunately, there are fuck tons of people out there who are going to lie to you and the only reason they’re doing it is to farm your ‘Likes’ on their Facebook pages.

On this one chick’s Facebook page, i saw a link to a piece called “7 Reasons Why You Will Never Do Anything Amazing With Your Life“. i go there and it’s pretty much average motivational crap stuck under a provocative headline to get your attention and to make you believe you’re not good enough.

7 reasons 03 (AlKHall Bar None)

Check this, i could do the same fucking thing and i’ll even time my ass to show you how easy this kind of article is.

Titillating title: 7 Reasons You Will Never Know True Love

  1. You don’t love yourself
  2. You look in the wrong places
  3. You can’t let go of your past
  4. You have too many criteria
  5. You don’t know how to recognize love
  6. You don’t laugh out loud enough
  7. You are too focused on yourself

There you go. That took me 01:41. One minute and 41.4 seconds to write that outline.

Before you start saying, “But Al, Raymmar Tirado’s tips weren’t as simple and ordinary as yours,” imma call bullshit.

You know what he wrote in his article? “You don’t ask enough questions,” “you don’t read enough books”… shit like that. You don’t know how much i read, Rainman, and reading a book a day still won’t guarantee me the Nobel Peace Prize. Hell, how many pictures do you see of Jesus reading books? He did some amazing shit and the only question he asked was, “Why me, Lord?” when the hung his ass on the cross.

7 reasons 02 (AlKHall Bar None)

Plus, who is Raymmar Tirado to tell us what to do? Like he’s an expert on doing amazing things. Have you ever heard of his amazing ass? i haven’t. The only amazing thing he’s done in his life is to write that piece of shit article telling you that suck.

Like i said up at the top, i won’t lie to you like Rayman did. i’m all about the coming clean, so here are the 7 Real Reason You Will Never Succeed

1. You are not rich enough

7 reasons 04 Rich (AlKHall Bar None)

2. You were born in the wrong class

7 reasons 05 Class (AlKHall Bar None)

3. You did not go to the right university

7 reasons 06 University (AlKHall Bar None)

4. You do not have the right connections

7 reasons 07 Connections (AlKHall Bar None)

5. You have a moral compass

7 reasons 08 Moral Compass (AlKHall Bar None)

6. You have family and friends you care about

7 reasons 09 Friends (AlKHall Bar None)

7. You do amazing things every day

7 reasons 10 Amazing (AlKHall Bar None)

Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper

Dregs of the Week: Cara Delevingne & Michelle Rodriguez: Full Court Press

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 01 (AlKHall Bar None)

Too young? Half your age plus 7 inches, baby!

Here’s my New Year’s resolution, for more shit like this to happen. For hot bi girls to get mega drunk and make out with top models in public. My New Year’s resolution is more Michelle Rodriguez.

Michelle Rodriguez, the King of Queens and still the first woman i’ll call if i turn gay, had a date with a 21 year old blonde top model who looks like this:

Cara Delevingne None (AlKHall Bar None)

And acts like this:

Cara Delevingne 00a None (AlKHall Bar None)

Cara Delevingne 00b None (AlKHall Bar None)

Michelle took Cara Dlelevingne (pronounced: de-la-vagina) to a basketball game and it was hard to tell, oh so very hard, who had the most balls because Michelle kept trying to convert the young woman to either Lesbianism or Alcoholism or both and you know me (and if you don’t there oughta be a law) i already invented a word for that too and it’s LUSH, which stands for Lesbian Until Sober Honey.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 02 (AlKHall Bar None)

“Psst, if I were a woman, would you be a lesbian?”

What’s the take away? These photos are the fucking take-away and they’re so great it’s like Santa came again and if he didn’t, i will.

You know you’re Michelle Rodriguez drunk when…

1. …this is ‘smiling’.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 03 (AlKHall Bar None)

2. …you can only keep one eye open at a time

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 04 (AlKHall Bar None)

3. …you give a urine sample in public

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 05 (AlKHall Bar None)

4. …everything reminds you of vaginas.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 06 (AlKHall Bar None)

5. …you finish first. Without her. At a basketball game.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 07 (AlKHall Bar None)

6. …your ‘come face’ turns into a ‘go face’.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 08 (AlKHall Bar None)

7. …you get this kind of lucky.

Michelle Rodriguez Cara Delevingne 09 (AlKHall Bar None)

As i already got more than enough Michelle Rodriguez pics to choke a drunken whore, i thought i’d concentrate on Cara Delevingne from here on out.

Cara Delevingne Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Bar None)

Cara Delevingne Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a wallpaper

Al K Hall’s Drawers

What follows is NSFW, babes.

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Hot Lunch Lady: Dreg of the Week

Back to school drunk 01 (AlKHall Bar None dregs)

Well, it’s the Back-to-School period for those of y’all who weren’t smart enough to get out yet. Don’t let education get you down, though, wait for your grades to do that. Right now, you still have shitloads of time before your first test, so live it up while you can still do it guilt free. And if you’re looking for a little somethin’ somethin’ to spice up your white bread life, why not tap the Lunch Lady?

From the juiced box and dedicated to Tonya: Fame – Hot Lunch

Commoner Dregs

September 02: Baby Got Back-to-School

Back to school drunk 03 (AlKHall Bar None dregs) Learned My Lesson

I Learned My Lesson

Here’s a fantasy i didn’t know i had: a 3-way with the school lunch “lady”. You know, i wanna drink from her juice box. Shake her milk. Lick her batter. Knead her breasts and baste her thighs. Tenderize her meat. Whip her cream. Ice her muffins. Make her suck my fish sticks.

i just found out i had this fantasy thanks to a 34-year-old hot lunch lady in Colorado who has a lot on her plate. Seems she had this party at her place and invited the whole high school cafeteria, and when they all came she left them begging for smorgasbord.

Tonya Harris Mug Shot (AlKHall Bar None)

She served one guy right there in the middle of her living room while the others waited in line and then she took a 17 and a 20-year-old into her bedroom for what i like to call the “Back to School Special”. Bet you’re wondering which one got the sloppy seconds, eh?

Unfortunately, this left a bad taste in someone’s mouth because the police started asking around until one fed up customer called the tip line and fed them the entire story on a silver platter.

The Hot Lunch Lady was put in the cooler for sexual assault on a child and contributing to the delinquency because of all the booze she served with her smile.

Back to school drunk 02 (AlKHall Bar None dregs)School Supplies

School Supplies

Bar None Dregs

About Bullying

At the end of my post about Cressida Bonas, i stated that i’m instigating a no bullying policy here in the Bar None. i polled readers and asked if they felt i’d bullied her Royal High-ness in the post and 40% of y’all said i had. In response to that unequivocal response, i’ve refused to use the woman’s last name in this Dregs post, referring to her only as Tonya. Is that enough or am i still bullying? Please let me know in the comments.

Go here for a complete list of all my websites on one page so you don’t miss out on any of my shit.

All About Al K Hall

Al K Hall’s Drawers

Back to school drunk 04 (AlKHall Bar None dregs) My back-to-school period

“I’m having my back-to-school period!”

Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.