Booze Revooze: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones 01 poster (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Aren’t we all?

Before we get into the shit, let me just rub something in by telling you that, yes, once again, we had a movie in Yeaman before ya’ll in Rest-of-the-World. Here’s the peroxide proof of that.

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones 02 still (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones 03 still (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Ramblings: Pretty Normal Activity

Final Proof: 3 Shots

3 shots

You know how you get drunk on your annual camping trip? Instead of grilling the burgers yourself on the fire, you decide to try fast food for a change so you eat your burgers around the fire and sip your beer and commence the horror story telling but the tales taste as stale as the rehash you swallow with your flat beer because it never really gets cold enough in a cooler. The stories, like the beer, aren’t bad and the scare, like the fare, are predictable variations of the same urban legends with some fun twists on your nads and suspense to keep you awake but if you’re looking to be startled by something truly new, you’d be better served by another franchise. Still at the end of the day when you’re peeing on the fire, you go to bed and the beer burps bring up the burger aftertaste and you realize you’re satisfied because you got what you expected, if nothing more. That burp is what Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones smacks of.

You know me, and if you don’t just hold it against me, i’m all kinds of specialist on Paranormal Activity because we always get them first in Yeaman.

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones 04 still (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

For those of you who need a cheat sheet, here’s a summary of all the Paranormals up until this point.

Paranormal Activity 1: (October 2006) Micah and Katie are harassed by a demon and record it on a digital camera.
Paranormal Activity 2: (Prequel: September 2006) Kristi (Katie’s younger sister), her husband and her hot step daughter are bugged by the same demon and record it on digital home security cameras.
Paranormal Activity 3: (Pre-prequel: 1998) Kristi and Katie are little girls and are stalked by a demon and their stepdad records it on videocassette camera.
Paranormal Activity 4: (Sequel: November 2011) A blonde teen is tormented by an evil Ben with hormones, but also an evil spirit and the neighbor kid from across the street. Her adventures are mostly recorded on webcams and an Xbox.
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones: (Post September 2006): The film is set after Ali (Molly Ephraim) loses her dad and step mother (Kristi) in PA2 and includes an alternate take of Katie killing Micah (PA1). An 18 year old Hispanic guy named Jesse realizes too late he’s been marked since birth for demon possession. The filming is done with a video camera he buys with his graduation money.

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones 08 still (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Interestingly or not, this movie technically isn’t Paranormal Activity 5. PA5 is supposed to come out in October, but Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones is a spin-off for the Latino crowd, and why the fuck not. There may be some special guest appearances by Molly Ephraim who’s back from Paranormal Activity 2 for one scene, and the iniminimintable Katie Featherston who has some cameos as well, but basically this is an all new branch of the franchise.

i’m not going to give away anything about the story because i hate it when people do that, but i’ll tell you what you need to know which is Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (which is a long fucking title i’ll never type again) delivers what you ordered and feeds you the crap you expected.

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones 05 still (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

You got the found footage feel (evn if they don’t thank the families and the police in this one like they did in some of the others), you have the talented unknown actors (like Andrew Jacobs does a good job as Jesse, the possessed teen, and very beautiful Latina actresses (Catherine Toribio and Gabrielle Walsh to name but a two) who are talented and just your type if you’re into “very beautiful”. You also have the building of fake startle moments into real startle moments and even a Simon Says game as a modern ouija board / devil’s condom (or whatever the word is that means ‘conduit’).

The new & improved parts come in the fact that the action takes place outside and in many different locations around the city and not just in a couple of rooms. Plus, there’s more action and less heating up slowly to a slow burn like in the earlier ones.

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones 07 still (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

This movie is like the James Bond series, it has women in it. Also, if you like the others in the series, you’ll like this one too.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 2½ Shots

2 & 1-2 shots

Another first for PA:TMO is that they had full frontal female nudity of a hot brunette. Sure, we saw it through a video camera filming a TV screen receiving a signal from a GoPro camera, but it was better than nothing and certainly much better than the sight of an older and heavier naked woman painting the triangle/circle symbol on the hot woman’s stomach.

Apart from that, like i already said, they had Molly Ephraim as Ali again and remember how much i drooled after her in my review of Paranormal Activity 2? This film proves me right, though her screen time unfortunately was next to nothing. Like what she’s wearing here.

Molly Ephraim 2014-01-01 Paranormal 5 Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Molly Ephraim Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for the wallpaper

There’ll be more shots of her in my drawers, at the bottom. All you gotta do is scroll all the way down.

Silken Butterflies

The rest of the hotness took place with the Silken Butterflies, who are those wonderful actresses whose screen time was the opposite of how talented they are.

One of the hottest was the lovely Catherine Toribio, who played Penelope, a party girl who wants to get freaky with Jesse until the freaky shit starts. Fortunately, before that there’s a scene where she’s crawling around on her hands and knees in her bra, you get the picture, lucky you.

Catherine Toribio Paranromal 5 01 (AlKHall Booze Revooze Bar None)

One of the other principle actresses was Gabrielle Walsh, who plays Marisol (Jesse’s best girl friend). She did such a good job with the acting thing that i almost forgot she looks this good.

Gabrielle Walsh Paranromal 5 01 (AlKHall Booze Revooze Bar None)

The other minor roles weren’t all that much more minor either, especially when you realize they were nailed by actresses like Noemi Gonzalez, who was Jesse’s sister, Evette.

Noemi Gonzalez Paranromal 5 01 (AlKHall Booze Revooze Bar None)

There was also the extremely lovely Wallis Barton who was so killer as “Captive Girl” you’d think she liked it.

Wallis Barton Paranormal 5 Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

There was a surplus of shots of her online, so i stuffed a couple of them in my drawers. Down there.

PA:TMO also saw the big screen debut (probably) of  Gigi Feshold as Penelope’s friend, Natalia. At least i’m pretty sure that’s who it was and it’s not like you’re reading this anyway. Speaking of “pretty”:

Gigi Feshold Paranromal 5 01 (AlKHall Booze Revooze Bar None)

Finally, i’m saving my favorite for last. She played “Coven Witch” but she’s also a famous stunt woman and her names is Crystal Santos. How cool is that? A stunt woman/actress named Crystal who looks like this:

Crystal Santos Paranromal 5 00 (AlKHall Booze Revooze Bar None)

Told you she was hot, bitches.There’s more shots of her in my drawers as well.

A Smoke

Drink: 2½ Shots

2 & 1-2 shots

Not a lot to go on here in terms of drinking being crucial to the story, but there was still some gratuitous drinking which means “free” so here’s my notes on the “free drinking” which is what everyone loves to hear their bartender say.

  • 40’s and probably a keg @ a graduation party
  • Shots of tequila with grandma
  • Beer [while] playing Simon Says
  • Cute Latinas drinking beer at party
Molly Ephraim Paranromal 5 06 in the Bar None (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Molly Ephraim in the Bar None

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 3 Shots

3 shots

There was no rock and roll music that I was able to discern so all the points here go towards the action. There was 3 star’s worth because they had some surprise events like bodies falling out of the sky and car accidents out of nowhere.

At the beginning they had some fake “cat jumping out of the closet” type stuff but later on the real suspense was real enough. Another cool thing about suspense movies is that you can take a date to them and she (or he, depending) will get scared and cuddle up next to you but there’s no hardcore violence to freak them out so they don’t want to do other hardcore shit later back at the house.

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones 06 still (AlKHall Booze Revooze)

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Christopher Landon

Directed by: Christopher Landon


Gabrielle Walsh – Marisol
Catherine Toribio – Penelope
Molly Ephraim – Ali
Noemi Gonzalez – Evette
Wallis Barton – Captive Girl
Gigi Feshold – Natalia
Crystal Santos – Coven Witch
Andrew Jacobs – Jesse

Bottom Line

There’s a reason they use the word “franchise” with both fast food and movies. PA:TMO is like McDonalds, nothing special but you know what you’re going to get when you go there, which is not at all a bad thing if you like McDonalds.

Another Round


The Rod’s brilliant review of the first one


Saint Pauly’s hilarious look at Evil Dead reboot


Booze Revooze of Scream 4, speaking of franchises

Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round.

Al K Hall’s Drawers

The review ends here. Keep going only if you want to see how photogenic the actresses are in PA:TMO

Continue reading

Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2

UPDATE: October 19, 2011

Due to recent increase in Pair-a-normals Activity centered around Molly Ephraim (and in honor of my seeing #3 tonight), i’ve included some screen shots of her in my drawers, all the way at the bottom.

[Click here for a guide to Booze Revooze and the rating system used]

Check out the date this was originally posted… That’s right, babes, here in Yeamen we got Paranormal Activity 2 a full two days before the Americans. Don’t believe me? Here’s a shot i took with my cell phone for proof. Once again, Al K Hall is here with a scoop for you patrons of the Bar None.

Ramblings: A Better Pair-a-Normals

Final Proof: 3 Shots

You know how you went camping that one time and the one drunk guy told that one ghost story? Well, you know how you decided to go drunk camping again? This time you’re better prepared and the fire is brighter and the steaks are bigger and the whiskey is smoother so you cook the fish you and your buds caught yourselves and you polish off the cooler full of brews you brought along and now, before bed, you sit in front of the fire sipping some fine whiskey and smoking cigars and all of a sudden one of the guys starts off telling a ghost story again. You’re not nearly drunk enough and last time you went through this you got kinda bored and so you’re not sure you feel like going through it again but what the fuck, you’re camping in the middle of nowhere and there’s no TV and nothing on anyway so you might as well listen. And as soon as the guy starts talking you can tell immediately you’re going to like it better than last time because his voice is smooth and the story is more like a real story and the suspense is as palpable as the lump in your throat that you don’t know if it’s a beer belch or barf. When it’s over, you’re not super scared but when you crawl back into your tent you feel like the night wasn’t a total waste and maybe you keep the flashlight on a minute or two longer than you normally would of. That’s what Paranormal Activity 2 was like.

Every movie has that one sentence people always say about it. Like for Sixth Sense everyone went around saying how they knew the surprise ending from the beginning and for Nineeveryone went around saying it sucked ass. Here’s what everyone’s gonna say about PA2, and i’ll give y’all this one free; you can go around saying it before anyone else in your little group, just remember you heard it in the Bar None first: “Yeah, I thought it was better than the first one.” OK, it’s not earth shattering but it’s not my fault if people aren’t gonna find smarter stuff to say about it. Here, shut up and look at another picture.

Anyway, it’s true, Paranormal Activity 2 really is better than the first one. There’s more of a story, the pacing is better, the ghost story suspense is more present. There were also some nice touches, like the first screen saying “Paramount Pictures would like to thank the families of the deceased and the Carlsbad Police.”

‘Course there were some holes as well, especially some WTF moments when crazy shit goes down and the family still decides to hang in the house regardless and the fact that everything is being recorded on CCTV video cameras in the house and the family never decides to watch the hard drive images (OK, they do it twice because the teenage daughter insists) and get the fuck out of Dodge.

Still, the suspense was there, the acting was solid and the story meshed well with PA1 because, and there are no real spoilers here, it’s a prequel. It tells the story of what happens to Katie’s sister before the demon goes to Katie’s house.

i don’t know…maybe i liked this one more than the first because my expectations were low with PA2 and there was a lot less hype about it, but alls i can say is that if you liked the first one even a little, then you should give this one a shot.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 2 Shots

There were only three actresses in this movie and you won’t believe how long it took to find the name of any actress other than Katie Featherston. i kid you not. Check out the “Full Credits and Cast” page on IMDB. Things may have changed by the time you click on it, but as i write this tonight they only have one name, Katie Featherston, and she wasn’t even in this film all that much. That’s how secret the cast is.

Here’s a picture of the main actress in the tub (they did one of those soap suds titty-blocking scenes).

i was able to find out on some New Zealand website that the main actress’s name is Sprague Grayden (30). That’s a freakin’ name right there. “Sprague” is the kinda name it’s fun to use in some eastern European bar where the walls are made of stone and the floors are dirty and you and Sprague are the only ones who speaks English. Not only does she have a cool name, not only is she a great actress, but she also looks like this while doing all that.

i got more Sprague shots down in my drawers. Keep scrolling down til you hit my jackpot.

Of course, Katie Featherston (28) was in this as well, just not as much as Sprague. Still, she deserves to be represented here anyway, right? Miss D was looking at some shots of Katie as i was putting together this post and we both agreed that Katie has an abundant Pair-a-normals, and in the movie we even get some low-cut blouse action of both Katie and sister Sprague.

i got a couple drawer shots of her as well.

In addition to the low cut blouse shots, there were also a couple scenes filmed in the pool which means… hallelujah and praise god, Katie and Sprague in bikinis. Also in a bikini is our delicious silken butterfly…

Silken Butterflies

Due to the incredible lack of information out there about the cast at the moment, i have no way of knowing the name of the actress who plays “Ali” in the movie. Ali is the teenage stepdaughter and i’m guessing the actress who plays her is over 18. If she’s 18 or over, she’s a very talented and sexy actress. If she’s 17 or under, then she’s a talented and charming young actress. If i find out that she’s under age, of course i’ll card her and move her back up top so she can be a vestibule virgin where she belongs. Here then is the pro’lly over 18 mystery actress from shots i took off the screen with my cell phone.

UPDATE: 2010/10/22 – As the movie was released in the States and some of those Americans waited around to read the credits, i finally have a name for this lovely young starlette. Her name is Molly Ephraim and she doesn’t list her age, though i was able to determine she was in Princeton in 2008, which means i’m officially deciding she’s old enough to enter the Bar None here. So, here then is a collage which is nowhere near as hot as she was in a bikini in the pool. There’ll also be some shoots of her in my drawers.

And before i forget, she’s a fantastic actress. She really does a great job as the daughter and is able to come across as much younger than she actually is.

A Smoke

Drink:0 Shots

The husband-dad had a beer (Bud in a bottle, i suspect) while making dinner and then, when there was a date night, the daughter told the parents not to get too drunk.

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 2½ Shots

No music, a lack which actually helps the ambiance. i’ll give this puppy 2½ shots for the rock and roll ambiance of the movie, though.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Michael R. Perry (screenplay), Oren Peli (Characters)

Directed by: Tod Williams


Sprague Grayden – Kristi

Katie Featherston – Katie

Molly Ephraim – Ali

Bottom Line

i don’t know if it’d be more fun to see this at home on the sofa in the dark or on the big screen with everyone around you shitting their pants, but one thing is sure, you’ll have fun whichever you chose.

Al K Hall’s Drawers

Sprague Grayden (30)

Sprague Grayden in the Bar None

Katie Featherston (28)

To be honest, i’m not 100% convinced that this last pic is of Katie Featherston, but it was presented on the Net as her and would the Net lie? Besides, i operate on a Don’t Know, Don’t Care policy.

Molly Ephraim

Here’s the new shit:

Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round.