2016-09-29 Selena Gomez in the Bar None Wallpaper

Selena Gomez: Don’t Worry, Rehabby

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i don’t know if you know or not because she’s not really a Bar None type of gal, but there’s this girl singer called Selena Gomez. You might remember her from when she made an appearance her in Spring Breakers where she played a good girl going bad. If you missed that one, though, no big deal because all you have to do is look at her life. She’s pulling that same shit there.

2016-09-29 Selena Gomez in the Bar None Wallpaper

Selena Gomez in the Bar None Wallpaper: Click on the shot for a wallpaper

Which is to say she’s in rehab. Officially she’s in rehab for “depression” but you and i aren’t as stupid as you look and we know rehab for depression isn’t a real thing.

What’s saddest is not this excuse we’re hearing or the fact her peeps are blaming it in her lupus or the downers she’s downing our the booze she’s swigging… No, what’s saddest is that she’s in withdrawal, and even sadder still is what she’s in withdrawal from: Justin Bieber. Swear to god, she got addicted to his scrawny ass that’s moved way on down the road and there she is still stuck in the same rut she was in when they were together. When you can’t move on, you need to do something to kill time and for most folk that means killing yourself with drink and drugs.

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Of course Selena’s addicted to depression because she’s addicted to the alcohol that took her down and is continuing to hold her there at rock bottom. Here’s a dry toast to hoping rehab helps her to pick herself up and move on…

2016-09-29 Selena Gomez Cara Delvingne

Why couldn’t she get addicted to Cara Delevingne like the rest of us?

Selena Gomez

2016-09-29 Selena Gomez 01 See through

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2016-09-29 Selena Gomez 04 Assassin bikini

2016-09-29 Selena Gomez 05 lip slip

2016-09-29 Selena Gomez 06 wallpaper

2016-09-29 Selena Gomez 07

Hell Just Thawed

You know how i stopped writing this blog when Hell froze over because that was the only way i’d ever leave the Bar None? Well, Hell must’ve just thawed because there is only one convergence of events that would’ve ever got me back here and against all the odds and ends, the stars miraculously aligned.


You see that glass in front of them?

And when i say “stars”, i of course mean Cara Delevingne (or Cara Delavagina as she’s known around here and other parts) and Amber Heard who aligned and are still aligning like wild cats, i bet. And that image is hot enough to melt even a Hell that froze over. Which brings us back to why i’m here right now.

Not only did the two hottest women on the planet get together, they are doing it in a bar and of course they are! Where else would they get the right motivation to take the party horizontal? It was exactly how things started between Cara and Michelle Rodriguez and don’t tell me you don’t remember that gorgeous debacle.

An unforgettable kiss she won't remember

An unforgettable kiss she won’t remember

Camber (yep, i created that and you heard it here first) hung out together on Monday, September 19th, first at a bar named after what models say to each other to start a conversation (SoHo) and then to a different bar called LouLou. By the way, both of these clubs are too exclusive to even think about accepting folk like you and me, trust me, i’ve tried.

Turns out Amber and Cara are getting over their exes by getting on each other. Amber is still trying to salvage her reputation after getting busted for lying about Johnny Depp and Cara just broke up with a girl called Saint Vincent of all things.


The other women

My only concern is, when these two break up, where will they go to console themselves? They’re each already tapping the epitome of female beauty, so they have nowhere to go but down. Which is where they’re going anyway, so at least they know the way.

But you know Johnny Depp is kicking the shit out of himself because if he could’ve held on for a few more weeks, he had a shot at the threesome of the century.

Cara Delevingne


Cara in the Bar None






Amber Heard


Amber Heard in the Bar None






Amber Heard still in the Bar None


Angelina Jolie 2014-05-28 Bar None Wallpaper (AlKHall Bar None Booze Revooze)

Told you so! (Why Brad & Angelina REALLY broke up)

Hey there barmaids and beerhounds. It’s me, Al K Hall, your ever loving tender bar tender here at the Bar None popping in to brag a little.

Click On Image For Details

Way back in 2010, i forecast Bradgelina dividing into Brad and Vadgelina, and i even gave the reason: Brad’s drinking. i may have been premature (like usual, what can i say?), but i got it so fucking right.

“Are You Drinking What I’m Drinking?”

i’m guessing the Pitts were hanging out on their private plane and Brad was guzzling jet fuel or whatever the rich drink for kicks, when he started getting mean drunk. Vadgelina made some remark that set him (or maybe the jet fuel) off and then Maddox stepped in to take his mom’s side. Unfortunately, this made Brad turn on his kid and that’s when Angelina cut the cord.

Anyway, if y’all take the time to read the above link, you’ll have to agree i’m at least as psychic as i am psychotic. Which is what i always say. Just like “Thanks for patronizing me”.

What do you think? Did they split because of the booze or because Brad decided he wanted to French kiss Marion Cotillard?

If you’re here for the hot babes then i’ve got some Vadgelina:

Click On Image To Get A Wallpaper

Angelina Jolie At The Bar None